There are many reasons why some men and women find that meeting people in real life can be a challenge. The demands of a hectic work life can often compromise your dating life, and how you connect with a potential new love interest.
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Have realistic expectations
Dating can be an intense experience. Especially if you’re out of practice or somewhat shy. Having realistic expectations can help to minimise first date nerves and pressure, and won’t make you feel overwhelmed about getting everything right.
With a fresh approach, dating can be an enjoyable and fun experience, whether you’re looking for casual dating opportunities or you’re keen to find your perfect match. It makes total sense to take baby steps, instead of rushing in to make a commitment to someone you fancy.
Make micro-commitments
Instead of asking someone you fancy for a date during your first communication, keep it low key and introduce a few micro-commitments to test the water.
A micro-commitment is just like a baby step that leads you to your goal, without any pressure involved. Instead of rushing in and asking your POI on a fancy dinner date, invite them to join you for a hot beverage at their favourite coffee shop. Or agree to meet up for walk at a local beauty spot, so that you can get to know each other better.
Micro-commitments allow you to gauge whether or not there’s any chemistry before you get too invested in building a relationship with someone you fancy.
Build rapport
Chatting and flirting online, or via text messages, is an excellent way to make a connection and build rapport. Flirty banter can quickly lead to a first date, and much more, provided that the attraction is mutual.
To establish rapport, start by finding common ground with your POI. Engaging in small talk, and chatting about things you like and dislike, will quickly make you both feel at ease with each other.
Have a game plan
To make a great first impression, when you’re connecting with someone you fancy in person, it’s essential that you have a game plan in mind.
To make an emotional connection, focus on building rapport and ask plenty of open-ended questions. Ask your date about their childhood and past, and encourage them to share stories about what’s going on in their life in the present moment. You can also quiz your date about their future plans and what they want to achieve in life.
It’s also good to have a mental list of hot topics and other general questions you can ask to keep the conversation flowing. And if you want to gain an advantage over other potential dating suitors, it’s worth avoiding the usual “what do you do for a living” type questions. Instead, exercise your imagination and come up with intriguing alternatives that will pique your date’s interest and score you valuable brownie points.
Be a good listener
There’s no point asking your POI to share personal information, if you’re not bothered about paying attention. When you’re chatting with someone you fancy, it’s easy to pick up on little details that you can use to your advantage later on.
You can learn a lot about someone when they share a story, or as you’re comparing your mutual likes and dislikes. Storing important details, like their birthday, favourite foods, books, movies or songs in your memory bank will give you tons of stuff to talk about in the future, as well as opportunities to surprise them with your recall.
You can also listen out for clues that hint at their interest in you.
Be yourself
To really connect with someone you fancy, it’s vital that you’re authentic and true to yourself. Acting like you’re someone else, to impress a date, is never recommended.
Relax, and let your natural charm and dazzling personality do its thing. Let your POI see beyond the surface level, by connecting with them in the same way that you do with a good friend.
Allow the connection to deepen naturally. Spending time together doing fun activities that you love, and sharing new experiences, will give the connection time and space to grow into the secure relationship of your dreams